once upon a muse

Reading an important part of my life can be done in our wrotes
so many things shared and so many for to share yet, thats my hope
four letters with such a trascendental meaning for me now
a gift, a not deserved present... but the one I have been looking for
a miracle that somehow managed its way to found me
powerful encouraging force, bringer of future, hopes, changes.
she brought more than a simple friendship, a caring and loving hand
powerful... powerful destroyer as she could also be.

Offering myself for the very first time, anxiety full of fears though

a pool of questions without answers, naive and stupid, mistake after mistake

facing the odds I find my strenght in her strenght and my doubts in her doubts

What kind of twisted path is this one I choosed for? we choosed for?

that what I hoped, I always wanted, just dreamed and always searched for

but... I never lived, I never experienced, still dreamed and just longed

where is she now? why not here? why not close? why not together?

never sure about anything, but... here I am

She is the girl of my eyes, she is the princess of my story,

she is the queen of my heart, she is the woman to love, to live, to die for

she is my dream, she is my reason for to dream, she is here, she is there,

she is everything, my everything... my always distant everything

rain and muteness, cold and comfort, safe haven and cruel despair
what my sad hours claim for, what circunstances made mockering

a prayer in the long rung and a reminder deep thought
for her precense... her absence... is not killing me.

Even before my illusions get an owner, her graceful spirit encouraged me
unspoken and empty promises just made to myself, already...
forgotten as I am taken by the sight of her smile, her beautiful smile.
curvs that never look so smooth and fine in a female body, melting... calling
drops of sweat evoking future and possible escenes; are we ready?
what it is the purpose in all this behaving? hushing never helped beforewhat am I doing? what should I do? not betraying myself again!
my commmitmet, thats for sure.

puesta al dia

Anhelos, profundos anhelos que me agobian ultimamente, mas que eso... tal vez... solo un carnal y primitivo desenfreno; merezco este "encierro" acaso?, merezco estar aun en esta inmutable situacion? en mi cinismo refuto un NO! Hay un mañana eso lo se, pero ahora esa palabra significa algo mas, renunciante a los distractores como debo ser ahora, se puede decir que recobro mi ceguera, pero... vaya precio eh pagado! ya no hay pureza o ignorancia, mucho menos aquella ingenuidad que otrora fuera causa de mofa.

Fecundo como veo todo ahora, no existe mas reposo, solo el tormento que encuentro en estos deseos de satisfaccion, de interaccion; bienvenido al olvido debo añadir, este es el otro lado, otro error a causa de mi inexperiencia, no deberia ser un secreto, pero el ser consumido es solamente una carga personal, cual es mi esperanza ahora? una que no puedo tocar pero si sentir, una que no puedo abrazar pero si ver, ver en la distancia y en mi egoismo, retener y desear solo para mi.

Truinfo? solo el tiempo lo dira...

so... suddenly

What do you want to say when you never speak to me?
you say, I don't tell, nothing slips, all spoken through words restrained
an unconscious set up, yet after a look to that body, that imagine...
is this a war?, skin and emotions; this is an art, thats all that I know
and I know nothing about, wish...ignorance... what's the bliss?
you want me, I want you, not denial, not truth, just hope
there would be comfort with short space? not control maybe
feelings aroused, feelings sprung, feelings that come and go, always there
like the hunger alway present for a caress, so simple answer, Im a mirror
flesh in the end we are, waves of frustrating memories, guiltiness
a nonesense finding, a spirit dreaming, a message in that cleavage
a path already choosen with such a clear ending, not time to sleep
you are moving, emotion and sensuality, overflow of surrealism, fascination
not here, not there, lost in measures of unfair physical distance
hopeless and scared, longing and yearning
though... for the very first time
not alone.