aquello que faltó

"Vous êtes belles, mais vous êtes vides.... On ne peut pas mourir pour vous"
 
Casi lamento anunciarte esto 

tal vez la horrible pero necesaria verdad:

lo que hayas sido y quien seas ahora, 

es algo que no quiero saber

no por desconfianza o resentimiento

en realidad... es que no me interesas mas,

no se si quedas derrumbada, o sola, o feliz y soñadora,

o vacía, o quizas solo indiferente.

Aun así, como eras ayer es como quiero recordarte

casi perfecta para este mundo de sombras y materialistas almas negadas

casi real para ser una mentira, 

casi, casi.

limites

si me preguntas hasta donde podria llegar

por alguien como tu?

te diria que hasta las estrellas, aunque tal vez no me creas,

te diria que aun mas lejos que el mismo infinito

y a pesar de eso...

no seria suficiente para ti, te conozco

aunque pretenda alejarme de la realidad,

para brindarte mas que promesas vacias

se exactamente a donde debo llegar:

a tu soledad utilizando mi compañia,

a tu sonrisas escondidas quizas con mis bromas tontas,

a tus ojos tristes con mis miradas inquisitivas,

al laberinto de tus sueños, a los secretos de tu alma

e incluso a tus dias oscuros y momentos de apatia

con...

que se yo? ya se me ocurrira algo, tenlo por cierto

si me preguntas hasta donde puedo llegar

por alguien como tu?

seria exactamente a tu vida

con mi vida misma.

Stupid cookies: the most obvious bait or my road to perdition (part 1)

Sitting at the bottom of a hole, by my own decision because it was a good place to... (emmm) read under the moonlight (it was a trap that I couldn't evade, I', in a stupid traphole, ok?) and while I tried to confort my injured shoulder, I was thinking about that quote of "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer", how much do we get to know our most closest persons? (or in this case not so close, the distance counts here), how much vital information was disclosed? (should I be scared?) Ha! and the worse its... that, there was no need of physical or psychological torture this time. But seriously, who puts something like this (a bag of cookies) in the middle of the road? actually, who built traps like this nowdays? (and some people told me that I always liked to waste my free time...)
Despite the fact that I ate almost all the cookies (who cares if it were poisoned by now?) - I saved a few for the rescue team, they deserve to die if they don't show on time - I won't recognize it worth it, nehhh, not even my favourite brand of cookies. I just wish that... it was not raining... :(
To the person that (maybe) find this note along with my corpse: "you are not late for revenge me!!" here's my lastes 5 bucks ($ 4.35 actually, I know its not much, so use it wisely) and I'm attaching the info of the guilty one that must be punished, the justice... will be on my side, I know

_________________________________________________________
lol kiddo, you know that I am just kidding, right? :3

wearing their masks

"He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us..."

Who or what am I for the others around me?
just another being wandering here and there
in this city, in this "life" (?)
trying to pass unnoticed
(yeah, thats really how I am)
just a walker while nothing or nobody wants to see me

I dont care very much about that actually
you know why?
I learned to do the same
(but at least I am honest about it)
it took its time and a lot of my "humanity" (?)
now I am part of this "stream" also
my choise...
that's what this life is about... in the very end, no?
always pretending...
just to pretend,
only that.

"...that's what they say. But, It's not what they mean."

sin marcha atrás

Que haces aun aqui?
abandona mi presente
abandona mi memoria;
no mas excusas por favor
tu traición lo ha dicho todo.

Devuelveme mi soledad
es lo unico que te pido
se que no era mucho,
pero era mi verdadero tesoro
lo único que realmente tenia
antes de conocerte.

Quise darte lo mejor de mi
a consciencia asi lo hize
tal ves... no fue suficiente
tal ves...
no fui suficiente...
compartimos mas que una oportunidad...
que era eso a lo que llamabas "amor"?

No necesitas explicaciones
las palabras ya están de mas,
ni siquiera en mis recuerdos te quiero ver
Que haces aun aqui?

Que perdone tu falla?,
tu traición? tu... descaro?
en otra vida tal vez,
esa mascara es lo que realmente eres...
este orgullo es lo que realmente soy.

excluido

Sigue soñando inmerso en tu abismo
invadiendo las mentes de los mas adeptos
doblegando sus voluntades hasta el borde de la locura
simple alucinacion indivudual o colectiva para los no creyentes
llamado cosmico para los pocos afortunados
no es necesario someter mi mente en sueños
si deseas otro fiel seguidor cuya destino no importe?
aqui estoy mas que dispuesto
pero, como siempre...

porque no me encuentro entre ellos?

perfecto canalla

Te gustaría decir que ella aun esta aquí?
que su imagen, aquella en esa foto, en ese columpio,
no se ha vuelto borrosa en tu mente con el tiempo,
no es así?
y aunque fue lo primero que viste
no se necesito de mas para sentir amor y atraccion,
tal vez ayudaron sus hermosas palabras
tu falta de experiencia fue indudable
si... es maravilloso sentirse amado por primera vez
y mas que eso, sentirse deseado
la promesa de una ilusión donde compartir
algo mas que un buen momento
en un distante e incierto futuro;
ahora con suerte, sera el plan para otra vida,
algo que no trascenderá de tus sueños nocturnos
debes admitirlo de una vez!
no te queda mas que una difusa remembranza
de lo que pudo ser y no fue
acaso tu actual dolor no vale esa recuerdo?
que hay de aquella hermosa dedicación
que aun atesoras y guardas
sin importar lo que sus ultimas palabras te hubieran dicho
no te lastimaron mas de lo que tu tal vez la hayas lastimado...

"Padre amado
tu conoces mi corazón,
mis mas intimos deseos, mi historia
quiero agradecerte por el,
por ponerlo en mi camino
y dejarlo en mi alma
por todas las bendiciones que a través de él me has dado
por estos maravillosos días hablando con el
dando y recibiendo su amor
entiendo tus designios y los acepto
pero un día,
quisiera poder abrazarlo
solo eso Padre, antes de dejar este cuerpo
poder sentir su respiración, su ternura
Padre...
lo demás te lo digo en privado..."

gone but no forgotten

bye bye... Jerico...

even in the last hour

Spectral messenger, perpetual guest, last visitor...
you, the invasor of the dreams of everyone,
yet... not mines...
ruler of fears, challenge of rich and mightly ones
why are you doing this to me?
I'm bored here... where's your mercy?
am I so abject, even for you?
you, the one with neither favored ones nor hated ones.
you, the one who forget no one

Here I am, finished but not ended
just grasping my own ever-pesent and undying rejection
Here I am, confused and waiting
tired of thinking, tired of waiting.
My rest should have come long ago
but when and where I was destined for?
I don't know...
I'm tired of waiting, I'm bored here...

Repulsion...
what everyone around have always showed to me;
Abandonment...
that what you are doing to me now,
Oblivion...
my only choice?
_________________________________________________________
Edited By Rose Lachenhild

those eyes

"what... are you doing?"

I managed to ask her while looking directly into her eyes...
The same brown eyes that captivated my heart for the first time months ago
and... still do.
Because everything it's so perfect, when I see her eyes... even now,
Perfect eyes... despite they are getting full of tears...
tears of... love, tears... because a goodbye...

I try to caress her hair with my last strenght
careful, loving... that scent...
her determined but horrorized gaze shocked me,
while holding the knife that she inserted into my chest
I asked her again (and maybe for the last time)

"what are you doing?"
______________________________________________________
Edited by Rose Lachenhild

so... if I'm a puppet?

I am learning
to accept the persons as they are not as I want them
no matter how many times they disappoint me
no matter why they forsake their ideals
no matter how many times they hurt with words or actions
no matter what…

I am learning
to read the hidden messages between the superficial words
between the lines
through the soul
the unseen possibilities for everyone.

I am learning
to hear the disguised anguish
the hidden solitude
the simulated joy
the faked smile
the pain in the bottom of each heart
the grudges that have been cultivated with time
by walls of silence and self-pity.

I am learning
to see and to forgive,
but...
what must be forgiven?
who must be forgiven?
my place is beneath all of this… (I am at the heart of the problem)

"I'm not better than you,
will you forgive me?"
__________________________________________________________
Edited by Rose Lachenhild

when we became friends?

I don’t have an exact date for that
Only a couple of curious questions after the first “hi”
are the only things that come to my mind.
A "be careful" from time to time
maybe also some uneasiness moments due the language barrier
but honest interest and care development with the time.
(women... what a mood sometimes...)

And now, a nice and valuables words every often
long talks, stories, memories, feelings, secrets sharing...
But, when we became friends?
It’s that important actually?
Though i would like to exactly remember that day
a shame all the witnesses are dead, literally
(we kill them all :D and then took their stuff)

Some good moments we have been trough,
some bad and depressing moments also we have passed
but I am not that “alone” as before.
With some tears and laughs I can say now
that I feel alive for having someone that calls me
“my friend”
(ok, ok... she calls me “honeybun” now)

an instant of reality

Eyes wide open
though never so blind as today.
light hurts after too much darkness
cold breeze coming from nowhere announcing the end of a season,
cold breeze that brings forgotten memories.
hidden memories, worthless memories
how could I forgot those...
experiences?

Arhdiy

Sgniht lla of efil eht gnivarc, Eno Ylenol eht, Arhdiy;
Htrae eht fo efil eht gnideen, Eno Ylenol.

Secar ratava reh gnilur, Sseddog eht, Arhdiy;
yks eht fo Htah'y enirutluv fo, Sseddog,
Htrae eht ni speels ohw Arhtox fo, Ssseddog
ruoved ot sekaw dna
reh pihsrow ohw secalp egnarts ni nem of, Sseddog.
Seiretsym srewollof reh gnihceat, Tnahporeih eht, Arhdiy;
dlrow redle eht fo seugnot egnarts gnihcaet, Tnahporeih.
Neerg swodaem eht dna sllih eht gnikam, Lufitnoub eht, Arhdiy;
sgnirps tresed eht ot yaw eht gniwohs, Lufitnoub,
tsevrah eht dna skcolf eht gnidraug, Lufitnoub.

Srewollof reh fo dees eht gnideen, Revol eht, Arhdiy;
sgniht lla fo dees eht evah tsum ohw, Revol,
eid ro egnahc fo dees eht evah tsum ohw, Revol,
degnahc era strosnoc esohw, Revol,
degnahc dna tsap eht fo dees eht htiw desufni
tneserp for ron tsap fo ton smrof ot.

Tsap eht fo nwaps htrof gnignirb, Rehtom eht, Arhdiy;
erew that sgniht lla fo, Rehtom,
tneserp fo dna tsap fo nerdlihc fo, Rehtom,
sgniht lla rebmemer nerdlihc esohw, Rehtom
daed gnol srehtaf rieht fo.

Srewollof reh ot efil gnol gnignirb, Revig-Efil eht, Arhdiy;
ylsseldne seirutnec eht gnivig, Revig-Efil
srepihsrow dna srevol dna nerdlihc reh ot.
Srehtaf wen fo snos eht gnideen, Eno Sseltser eht, Arhdiy;
htrof srewollof reh gnidnes, Eno Sseltser
egnahc sseldne reh rof doolb wen kees ot,
doolb eht edistuo srevol wen gnivarc, Eno Sseltser
srepihsrow reh fo
srewollof reh dna nwaps reh dna ehs tsel
htead gnivil ni rehtiw dna levirhs.
srewollof reh fo sdnim eht gnidoulc, Hctiw-Mared eht, Arhdiy;
noisulli ni epahs reh gnidih, Hctiw-Mared,
ytuaeb egnarts ni epahs reh gnikaolc, Hctiw-Mared.

Wodahs ni sselhtiaf eht gnihtaerw, Reduorhs eht, Arhdiy;
seno elitsoh dna tnarre eht gniruoved, Reduorhs,
Reverof nem sedih ohw, Reduorhs. . .
_____________________________________________________
From the writed of The Mad Lama of Prithom-Yang